Welcome to 30 Year Term Life

30 Year Term Life Questions and Answers

Resolved Question: Noise and my neighbours!!?

I live in an apartment block in Spain, it's nice and in a beautiful, delightful area in a Spanish town. There are very few non Spanish people here in the area and I have always been happy with my lot. However two years ago a young couple bought the apartment above me and since then they have made life impossible. They did not live there full time until last year after they got married. They completely refurbished the place and did most of the work in summer when my friends and family visit me. They worked from 8am until 10.30pm and even when I asked them could they follow the community rules of stopping work between 2.30 until 5.30pm. They told me that they could do what they liked. They have had parties until 3.30 pm and they come in every Friday & Saturday night in the early hours. They then have showers, they flush the toilets at this time and wake me up constanly every weekend. She in particular walks around in high heels from the moment she gets up until she gets into bed eve3n to go to the toilet. I have tried to speak to them several times but they refuse to listen and have been abusive and have used several racial terms & insults. Telling me that "FOREIGNERS" are not welcome in the building, town or Spain. I'm an Irish national intitled to live and work in Europe as the Spanish can do in the EU!! Today is a holiday in many places in Southern Spain due to Andalucia Day and all the schools are closed. As I'm a teacher I have the day off and my wonderful nieghbours choose today to tear out all their fitted wardrobes.Not yesterday or any other day that I'm out and working but today with the full knowledge that I have today off!! When I went up to ask them how long it would take as I had invited people for lunch they said "All Day" and all weekend and shut the door. I' ve cancelled my lunch and I can't take any more of their racist remarks or their lack of understanding their noise makes. PLEASE what can I do??? I own my apartment and I can't and won't move from somewhere I have been happy i untill now. I have tried to talk to them. I have sent letters to the community president who has been told by them that they don't do any of the above. I work long hours and am out of my place from early morning till late in the evening. I don't play loud music, have wild parties etc... They go out everyweekend and come back late with friends and have parties constantly. They even drilled one night last summer at 11.15 pm when my nephew (3) was in bed and woke him up causing him to fall out ( I did have a child protecter on the bed) but he fell on the marble floor and had a bad buise and bump. We spent the night in casulty and they claimed it wasn't their fault. They use racist remarks and bang the floor with sticks asking am I awake!! The police have even visited them to ask them to stop. I feel it is all racist based behaviour! I own my apartment and I can't and won't move from somewhere I have been happy i untill now. I have tried to talk to them. I have sent letters to the community president who has been told by them that they don't do any of the above. I work long hours and am out of my place from early morning till late in the evening. I don't play loud music, have wild parties etc... They go out everyweekend and come back late with friends and have parties constantly. They even drilled one night last summer at 11.15 pm when my nephew (3) was in bed and woke him up causing him to fall out ( I did have a child protecter on the bed) but he fell on the marble floor and had a bad bruise and bump on his head and face. We spent the night in casulty and they claimed it wasn't their fault it was noraml to drill at this hour in Spain.They use racist remarks and bang the floor with sticks asking am I awake!! The police have even visited them to ask them to stop. I feel it is all racist based behaviour!  more

Resolved Question: Husband is working too much and causing strain on marriage?

My husband works hard. Always has. Before we moved we live now he worked in Manhattan NY and traveled 2 hours each way and wasn't home until 8 o'clock. I worked as well part time once children were born between 30-25 hours and took care of children and house - my days were just as long and just as hard as most moms can attest. The past year I haven't worked and I'm still adjusting (worked for same company for 17 yrs and much success). But nothing has changed in terms of our family life. Now that I don't work as hard my eyes are open and I see that there is a real disconnect in our relationship and with our daughters. He says he hates his job. Still works until 7:30-8:00. He never calls me or spends times time with kids or even he could call them every day. Perhaps he likes being at work more than us, but he would say NO. However words and actions don't coincide. I get little attention, few compliments or physical flirting, bedroom is same old same old. I don't harp on things or nag. Now if i go back to work I will only be too busy to care for my family properly as I am well aware of it's toll over the past 13 years. It only masks the problem. I'm more concerned with daughters relationship with their dad as I have a close relationship with my parents and a special love for my dad. Financially we are very secure. How do I get him to connect with us before we drift further apart and become like some of my neighbors who are waiting until kids are older to get a divorce because they are friends only. I think we are headed down that path. We moved and now don't have the 2 hour commute - now it's 35 minutes. I haven't let myself go. I go to the gym daily and look better than when we got married...obviously older but just as hot lol.  more

Resolved Question: who was given the job to ruin the country (uk)?

i personally choose not to vote so usually i would keep quiet but tonight was the final straw. health and safety: is this really needed to such an extent? why is that it has to take me longer to fill out risk assessments and all that crap than it would to do the job in the first place. is it really necessary for a sticker outlining how to use a ladder correctly and advising the user to complete the necessary training to use it.. health and safety really needs to be sorted out before they ban the population from leaving a house when not wrapped in bubble wrap. recently there was a story about some coast guards that got fined for breaching health and safety when saving a girl drowning in the sea! wtf?! political correctness: since when has black bored been used as a racist comment? if it has been then surely white bored is just the same? how can someone seriously be offended by the term brain storm? how many people do you know that has thunder and lightening storms in their heads? and all these nursery rhymes that are being changed.. how many multi colored sheep have you seen in ur life if there were such sheep i can see why someone would want the wool. are children these days that insecure that they cant know the truth about humpty dumpty's death? the 7 dwarfs made that story of snow white and should at least get a mention in the title.. was it really necessary to get rid of the drunken sailor and if so who came up with the lyrics about a grumpy pirate that will be changed soon i bet it might encourage children to join the pirates stealing all those boats O.O or maybe download films and sell the dvds. i read somewhere last year that someone complained about father Christmas saying ho ho ho? i mean come one.. don't be so soft... Asians complaining about an advert with a dog on lol riiiight i think you should find something better to do with your time. crime and punishment: there has been an increase in knife crime, murders and rapes surely that is enough evidence to bring in the death penalty.. i am 18 if i murdered someone maximum is like 20 years i think id get (correct me if im wrong) so i could kill someone and get out when im 38 and can somewhat restart my life that isn't very fair. just read in the paper then that someone who supplied a gun in a murder only got 3 years probably be out in 1 year through good behavior personally i think he should of gotten 10 years at least. credit crisis: if this wasn't talked about on every single page of every single paper then people wouldn't be that scared to spend cash and the economy wouldn't be that bad.. i walked past the job center today on my dinner break, people were queuing up outside waiting for space in there yet the country is still letting people in all the time paying millions in benefits every week majority of which is to people who are capable of getting a job. benefits: i worked for a few years, payed tax and national insurance.. went to college to get some qualifications so i could go back into work and to pay tax again.. it is costing me £50 pound a week to go to college.. i try to get EMA but i don't qualify because my family earns over so much fair enough i guess but my family don't give me any money is it really that fair that i have to turn up to college every day and watch my class mates receive something that i don't qualify for even though i have paid money to the government. EMA: what a load of crap. bus pass £15.50 a week EMA is £30 how is someone supposed to live on £14.50 a week.. i guess its better than nothing i suppose. nothing like alot of people are getting not only are these people getting £30 pound a week but every so often they get a bonus for turning up a set amount of hours a month surley it should be the people who go to college every single day for no pay that should get the bonus for turning up?  more

Resolved Question: Do you like Italy ? I love her!?

I'm Italian For other uses, see Italy (disambiguation) and Italia (disambiguation). Italian Republic Repubblica Italiana Flag Coat of arms Anthem: Il Canto degli Italiani (also known as Inno di Mameli) The Song of the Italians Location of Italy (dark green) – on the European continent (light green & dark grey) – in the European Union (light green) — [Legend] Capital (and largest city) Rome 41°54′N 12°29′E / 41.9, 12.483 Official languages Italian1 Demonym Italian Government Parliamentary republic - President Giorgio Napolitano - Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi Formation - Unification 17 March 1861 - Republic 2 June 1946 EU accession 25 March 1957 (founding member) Area - Total 301,338 km2 (71st) 116,346.5 sq mi - Water (%) 2.4 Population - 1st March 2008 estimate 59,829,710[1] (23rd) - October 2001 census 57,110,144 - Density 197.6/km2 (54th) 511.7/sq mi GDP (PPP) 2007 estimate - Total $1,787 trillion[2] (10th) - Per capita $30,365[2] (IMF) (25th) GDP (nominal) 2007 estimate - Total $2,104 trillion[2] (7th) - Per capita $35,745[2] (IMF) (20th) Gini (2000) 36 (medium) HDI (2005) ▲ 0.941 (high) (20th) Currency Euro (€)2 (EUR) Time zone CET (UTC+1) - Summer (DST) CEST (UTC+2) Drives on the right Internet TLD .it3 Calling code 39 1 French is co-official in the Aosta Valley; Friulian is co-official in Friuli-Venezia Giulia; German and Ladin are co-official in the province of Bolzano-Bozen; Sardinian is co-official in Sardinia. 2 Before 2002, the Italian Lira. The euro is accepted in Campione d'Italia (but the official currency is the Swiss Franc).[3] 3 The .eu domain is also used, as it is shared with other European Union member states. Italy /ˈɪtəli/ (help·info) (Italian: Italia), officially the Italian Republic, (Italian: Repubblica Italiana), is located on the Italian Peninsula in Southern Europe, and on the two largest islands in the Mediterranean Sea, Sicily and Sardinia. Italy shares its northern Alpine boundary with France, Switzerland, Austria and Slovenia. The independent states of San Marino and the Vatican City are enclaves within the Italian Peninsula, while Campione d'Italia is an Italian exclave in Switzerland. Italy has been the home of many European cultures, such as the Etruscans and the Romans, and later was the birthplace of the universities and of the movement of the Renaissance, that began in Tuscany and spread all over Europe. Italy's capital Rome was for centuries the center of Western civilization; it also spawned the Baroque movement and seats the Catholic Church. Italy possessed a colonial empire from the second half of the nineteenth century to the mid-twentieth century. Today, Italy is a democratic republic and a developed country with the 8th-highest Quality-of-life index rating in the world.[4] It is a founding member of what is now the European Union (having signed the Treaty of Rome in 1957), and a founding member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). It is a member of the G8 (having the world's 7th largest nominal GDP), Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), World Trade Organization (WTO), the Council of Europe, the Western European Union, the Central European Initiative, and a Schengen state. It has the world's 7th largest defence budget and shares NATO's nuclear weapons. On 1 January 2007, Italy began a two year term as a non-permanent member of the United Nations Security Council.  more

Resolved Question: When you have been with someone a little while do the strangest things annoy u? Would u be irritated by this?

My relatively new boyfriend...who is very sweet and caring and lovely still lives at home with his family at the age of 45!! I have sort of come to terms with this odd situation ...but now other things are starting to niggle greatly...like for instance his brother and he are both working but are incapable of cooking for themselves...they eat tinned potatoes and tinned peas and haslet!!! they are not short of a bob or two but they eat like they are on rations!! they have been cooking for themselves of late as the mother is not well and for the first time they are fending for themselves!!! The mother would not watch the telly inhospital because it was too expensive and neither of her sons offered to pay...they are loaded.... but are so careful about wasting money!! They use hot water bottles instead of having the heating on. They have not decorated their house for probably 30 years and neither of the sons or the father has attempted to do anything. Between them they could have paid someone to do something....I just dont get it??  more

Resolved Question: Premiums paid to a Group Life Ins Plan?

Well over 30 yrs ago when our family were very young my husband on recommendation took out a Group Llife Plan through the AA with a company called M & G. This was because it was for a small premium (just over £3 per month). There would never been any payment until death but the sum increased annually as did the premiums. It was changed from company to company, latterly Scottish Amciable and now Prudential. Premium is now about £67 per month. The way it is suits us fine but this has always been reviewed each ten year term, it always shows an Effective Date, last one 15 December 1999 and Expiry Date 15 December 2009. The sum assured now stands at over £37,000 on death. My husband is now 62 yrs of age and what concerns me if at the end of a 10 year term can the insurers turn round and say they ae not insuring him any more? This would mean we have paid thousands and thousands of pounds over the years which would be lost. Also when I had occassion to speak with someone at Prudential last year I mentioned that the original policy stated that if the insured death was due to an accident on the road etc the pay out would double. She said their policies does not cover this but we have only ever been advised of companies taken over the policy but still have the original policy. Hope the situation would never arise but I am also curious about this.  more

Resolved Question: question for all the men to answer!?

okay to keep it short,me and this guy have been together 2 years weve had our breaks and arguements but he always came back and we have always loved eachother.He seemed to have a commitment phobia. When i found out i was pregnant he was really happy,18 weeks pregnant i had to move back to my mums.He was still going out drinking and partying,he told me he didnt love ME enough to change!He would support the baby but we would have to see her seperate,he said he would 'come to terms' with the fact he couldnt see her every day.I was appalled,i moved back with my mum and here i am 30 weeks pregnant and still with her.He seems to be excited shes coming but ignoring what he needs to do as a father!Hes 28 and got a good job but i am in disbelief!Surely if he didnt love me when i got pregnant he would have known he didnt want to raise the baby together and said something,18weeks is a long time and you cant just change your mind surely!He said i trapped him and that he wasnt ready to be a dad and that a couple of years time it would be different!He still wants to be at the birth and have 'full involvement' but i feel like he just bailed!He has a flat, a job and a social life and im pregnant at my mums with nothing!He still going out and his life has continued the same,although he has put off baby clothes til im 7 months pregnant like hes trying to pretend it isnt happening! Could any guy shed some light on this,my instinct is hes scared he cant do it and that we will rely on him too much.Maybe when she gets here he will calm down and realise!I really cant understand it! i have to say,i was not trying to get pregnant and in the past he had talked about kids,i gave him the opportunity to tell me when i got the positive he didnt want to be a dad! I cant understand though why when i try and give him a way out and tell him to walk away he says im trying to stop him seeing her and yet he doesnt want to be a full time dad!I feel as hes walked out before shes even born it should be all or nothing.Any guy can be a sperm donor but it takes a real man to be a father! Any man can walk out on a pregnant woman,even a husband!People seems so ready to blame the woman when if he was mature enough to have sex he was mature enough to take responsibility!  more

Resolved Question: UK Why do people look for unrealistic sleeze/bad reasons why people are dating older or younger & not good one?

Why do people look for unrealistic sleeze or bad reasons why people are dating older or younger & not good ones Ie why come out with nonsense like what has a 20 and 16 year old got in common or 21 and 30 or 16 and 15 year old. Why not go ask them? Then you may get reasons like we are both inot rock music, both goths, into surfing and like Greenday. Maybe into acting, dolphins, rock climbing etc Or we are the only single people in are group of friends. Nothing sleezy. Why hanging out with different aged people in the first place/ How about all work at the same place or all in the same archery club or somethign more obvious like that? rather then something nasty. How about oooh must be something wrong if not hanging out with those your age.... Well how about the younger one's peers are all immature or worse gang, yob, thug, druggy types And the older ones peers are all coupled up, boring, have kids, like suits and no fun anymore to hang with and dont know any single people Makes more sense dont it? How about the older one must be into sex and the younger one totally innocent say 17 and 24. Lets see shall we compare the avwerage 17 year olds party with a 24 year olds work doo? The older one is everyone stressed and boring as cant relax for fear of loosing jobs if they actually have fun. The 17 year olds party is rocking everyone making out in every corner, having sex in the bedand bathrooms, falling over drunk, getting high in the dope head room and drinking /strip games in the kitchen. Ever thought that the younger one lieks somone older as a bit more mature, and the older one a little less of a boring stiff? As for experience... whats so unrealistic to think the older one is pretty lonley as never been in long term realtiosnhips just year after year goes past and unlucky in love and the younger one etting tred of shagging around. Or there are mixed aged social groups due to peoples older or younger siblings. As you get older life gets harder to socialise as few people who still want to come out clubbing or mates on the pull of both sexes still single. And what people want to do often gets boring ie stay in, behave so called appropiately. Does not mean you want to be boring into family events. So why do people always look for nasty sleezy reasons for people hanging out as mates or couples just as ones older then the other. Unless the younger one is very young well under 16. Also why does anyone care about the age of concent when the two members of the couple are only within a few weeks or months of each other... like whats the real difference. or make a big deal about someone 17 not being 18 and so called adult... whats going to change with a birthday? ******************** Why not look instead for real abuse if worried like the church (THE TWO BIGGEST ABUSERS OF CHILDREN BEING THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH AND ISLAM) and child abusing childrens homes, cases of fathers raping daughter and keeping them locked up, forced arranged marriage and hnour killings, teenagers denied abortions, domestic violence, african churches murdering and mutilating children accused of witchcraft and blaimed for anything, female gential mutilation done to young girls around 9 As in REAL abuse... worry about that and leave happy couples alone?. ******************** First poster... Why is it so hard for you to understand information that has been clarified into simple sentences with points on different lines and well spaced out and clear.? Few typos thats all poster 2 A 17 year old may like the same tv program as a 10 year old. So automatically that's right? what's another 6 birthdays? (UK) Erm who said anything about 10 year olds? Agin proving my point as all the examples I gave were ages of people who are likly to be dating or be sexaully active ie mid to late teens, 20s, 30s !0 year olds dont date dufus... toast the examples I gane are legal ie 16 plus or close enough say 15 and 48 weeks But also 14 and 15,16,or 17 are common and I would not call a 17 a full on adult but a late teen... ie likely to be sexaully active but still need parents Why assume its always going to be a far older person with topics like this? look at the age ranges given dont make up whats not there quote 16,17yr old wants at their point in life can be miles different from what a 20+ yr old wants out of their point in life Not really most likly both are still studying, partying, hanging with mates etc and just as older does not mean you are any more experienced. All the real life examples Ive seen of this were fine. Hence my attoude of not wanting nice people abused. And What gets me is the real nasty abusers get off scot free as too many idiots are barking at the wrong tree. Ie how many have been prosecuted after 30,000 girls were imprisioned in slave camps for flirting for life getting raped by priests and beaten by nuns? zero quote 16,17yr old wants at their point in life can be miles different from what a 20+ yr old wants out of their point in life Not really most likly both are still studying, partying, hanging with mates etc and just as older does not mean you are any more experienced. All the real life examples Ive seen of this were fine. Hence my attoude of not wanting nice people abused. And What gets me is the real nasty abusers get off scot free as too many idiots are barking at the wrong tree. Ie how many have been prosecuted after 30,000 girls were imprisioned in slave camps for flirting for life getting raped by priests and beaten by nuns? zero  more

Resolved Question: for men only.. answer in details?

I want to get to know this person and see if I can like him for future relationship and marriage. he is my colleague. I am 30 , he might be 35-37 years old. sequence of events: 1. he admitted his liking to someone in his circle and it got to me through a mutual friend. Note, we still don't talk on daily basis, sometimes, we don't even say Hi to each other. 2.He tried to get close through emails, and sometimes talking to me when he sees me. I almost always gave a cold shoulder. I wasn't looking to date english man as I am worried that they never get onto commitment and marriage and I didn't want to waste my emotions on anyone. 3. but , he is very good looking, and after seeing him around a lot, i started giving him long glances, still no proper conversation. 4. then, one day, over the phone ( for work purpose), he openly got very rude with me , due to frustration.After the weekend, he looked extremely depressed.He held teh door for me, and then for atleast 3 days I saw him depressed and lonely. 5. then, he got better, and I started giving him even longer glances. And , he changed, he started to ignore me. 6. but, my long glaces were noticed by his friends, who told him that i look at him from the behind.Now, he purposedly came around to my floor at work and again tried to talk to me. I again pulled off and we could just say a hi to each other. 7. Now, there is another girl in picture.She is his close friend, I have always seen them together in lunch hour.She is only his friend. MAy be ex not sure. I think they both have been working in this place from 10 years. I think, after getting frustrated with me, he has again started dating this girl or may be he was always dating her on and off. 8. now, he and me are completely aloof. We just share work emails, and some glaces too.But, seems like he thinks I am not interested or have someone else in my life. I feel little sad. Part of me says I should have tried to get to know him. I didn't have to get into sex and all, but I could figure out if he would be interested in long term. But, culture in Britain is diff , people don't ask straight questions and go through dating, then, living together and some never marry. This puts meoff and I had to lose this guy. Do you see any point in me trying to show more interest in him and trying to get to know him. MAy be , he's already moved on with his friend ( i can see them going on some common events on Fridays), and wouldn't want me anyway. what does your experience tell you? for your info, i am much more attractive than his friend. taller, slim and pretty. He looks at me all the time. I can see....  more

Resolved Question: how do i handle being treated like an outcast?

for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me.. ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me. i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder - although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to. the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back. ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ; an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again. i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police.. but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '.. but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure. and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts. this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out. i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im; ' dancing to the beat of their drum '. i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do.. i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control.. so tell me any psychologists ? what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT. what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times ? i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it. i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive. btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it. I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT. and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation. iam not facing this behaviour because of my race , ie : iam not black etc. im white living in a mainly white area . i really need advice because of my disorder i have the potential to react with aggression or get overly aloof and unfriendly back. i would really appreciate strategies and advice from someone - other than getting angry towards it. the only thing i know how to do is feel or get angry. thanks, regards  more

Resolved Question: ( clenched teeth ) - What is the best way to respond to people who are non accepting of you?

and aloof ? for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me.. ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me. i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder - although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to. the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back. ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ; an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again. i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police.. but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '.. but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure. and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts. this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out. i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im; ' dancing to the beat of their drum '. i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do.. i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control.. so tell me any psychologists ? what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT. what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times ? i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it. i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive. btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it. I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT. and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation. iam not facing this behaviour because of my race , ie : iam not black etc. im white living in a mainly white area . i really need advice because of my disorder i have the potential to react with aggression or get overly aloof and unfriendly back. i would really appreciate strategies and advice from someone - other than getting angry towards it. the only thing i know how to do is feel or get angry. thanks, regards  more

Resolved Question: i need advice on how to '' handle, react '' to peoples behaviours without losing it?

for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me.. ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me. i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder - although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to. the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back. ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ; an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again. i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police.. but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '.. but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure. and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts. this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out. i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im; ' dancing to the beat of their drum '. i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do.. i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control.. so tell me any psychologists ? what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT. what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times ? i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it. look, i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive. thanks btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it. I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT. and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation. i dont know who i am? great mate - how did you manage to get your therapy ?  more

Resolved Question: Can anyone remind me whats good about life?

I feel REAAALY miserable at the moment. Firstly I'm depressed about being single at 29. Almost 30 and no partner is sight, nor has there ever been apart from a 6 month relationship, which ended with him being arrested. That was 4 years ago, nothing since. Secondly, when I try to do something to jumpstart my life it goes wrong. Went to an event last night with 2 new friends I met on gumtree.com hoping to enjoy myself but it wasn't any good and the crowd were too young. This made me feel quite old, then we went clubbing afterwards but I wasn't approached by one single guy all night even though the club was jam packed. This did begin to ware on me as the other 2 had guy after guy approach them. I'd just had my hair done as well and thought I looked pretty hot...even got compliments off other girls about my hairdo. So, now I feel ugly too. I don't know where I stand in terms of attractiveness. Last time I went to the same club I was practically beating the men off with a stick. This happens quite a lot sometimes I go out and not 1 man will approach me all night, even though I'm dancing and smiling and others times I might get a fair few. I dunno...think I'm very marmite.  more

Resolved Question: are these understandable feelings and emotions ?

Is it understandable to react with so much anger & sorrow at realising what youve missed out on all your life? unfortunatly im a person who has suffered a miserable life all my life - ive never really lived my life or done anything i want to. had a very difficult miserable life - missed out on EVERYTHING thus far : relationships, friendships , employment, qualifications etc. suffered severe abuse/ bullying throughout my life, im now 30 years old , i feel ive aged prematurly because of stress , i have a minor criminal record , ( carrying a knife in a rough nieghbourhood, carrying a snooker ball in a sock - assault , kicking someone - ) spent time in a psychiatric hospital for 18 months because i said things to scare psychiatrist because i wasnt recieving help in the community. all that was about 7 years ago, since then ive been from pillar to post, ended up homeless for 9 months. ive made alot of progress from how i once was - i used to have rage outbursts in public and lash out and pick fights with people, due to bottled up anger when i was bullied. in the present im living in a one bedroom apartment in a dreary part of england on sickness disability - iam waiting for group therapy because thers is no individual psychotherapy in my area. i was diagnosed with BPD and post traumatic stress traits. i have physical problems, torn ankle ligaments, i need an operation on my left ankle - cracked skin on my penis, waiting for a 3rd opinion from a dermatologist - im out of shape badly because i have been inactive for so long. my physicality is weak. the otherday i was on the phone talking, and in the background i was privy to another girl talking on the phone, she sounded young, white and caucasian , it sounded like she was getting sexual stimulation or sexual kicks by talking to some guy on the phone , in a squealy type voice with submissive tones she kept saying '' yeah , yeeeaaah , yeah.......yeaaah....yeah ''. i felt really enraged listening to that because, while im working on bettering my life and trying to achieve my long term aims, some girl is obliviously enjoying life, simply, and getting off talking to someone. while ive missed out on all that good stuff , and have to go through hell, as i always have done to get the life i want for myself.. and outside, life is just carrying on as normal, and people are having fun, getting their rocks off. ( clenched teeth ) - grrrrraaaaaargh ! i feel so angry i imagined taking my anger out on that girl while clenching my tooths - punching her up. i would never do that obviously, i just felt so enraged.....and they were just feelings , feeling like i wanted to shut that girl up. my only goal now is to emigrate from britain once ive worked on my psychological problems via therapy, i would like a decent paid job in IT then my ultimate goal is to leave england..........i know it will be hard because of my disadvantages. what do you think ?  more

Voting Question: is it understandable to react with so much anger & sorrow at realising what youve missed out on all your life?

unfortunatly im a person who has suffered a miserable life all my life - ive never really lived my life or done anything i want to. had a very difficult miserable life - missed out on EVERYTHING thus far : relationships, friendships , employment, qualifications etc. suffered severe abuse/ bullying throughout my life, im now 30 years old , i feel ive aged prematurly because of stress , i have a minor criminal record , ( carrying a knife in a rough nieghbourhood, carrying a snooker ball in a sock - assault , kicking someone - ) spent time in a psychiatric hospital for 18 months because i said things to scare psychiatrist because i wasnt recieving help in the community. all that was about 7 years ago, since then ive been from pillar to post, ended up homeless for 9 months. ive made alot of progress from how i once was - i used to have rage outbursts in public and lash out and pick fights with people, due to bottled up anger when i was bullied. in the present im living in a one bedroom apartment in a dreary part of england on sickness disability - iam waiting for group therapy because thers is no individual psychotherapy in my area. i was diagnosed with BPD and post traumatic stress traits. i have physical problems, torn ankle ligaments, i need an operation on my left ankle - cracked skin on my penis, waiting for a 3rd opinion from a dermatologist - im out of shape badly because i have been inactive for so long. my physicality is weak. the otherday i was on the phone talking, and in the background i was privy to another girl talking on the phone, she sounded young, white and caucasian , it sounded like she was getting sexual stimulation or sexual kicks by talking to some guy on the phone , in a squealy type voice with submissive tones she kept saying '' yeah , yeeeaaah , yeah.......yeaaah....yeah ''. i felt really enraged listening to that because, while im working on bettering my life and trying to achieve my long term aims, some girl is obliviously enjoying life, simply, and getting off talking to someone. while ive missed out on all that good stuff , and have to go through hell, as i always have done to get the life i want for myself.. and outside, life is just carrying on as normal, and people are having fun, getting their rocks off. ( clenched teeth ) - grrrrraaaaaargh ! i feel so angry what do you think ?  more

Resolved Question: Single and growing apart from friends?

I'm nearly 30, and it saddens me that I feel like I'm growing apart from my friends from when I was younger. I was hanging out with them earlier and I felt so alone. I have been down a lot recently so I'm not sure if it's me/them/or just where we all are? (in our lives). I was in long term relationships earlier in my 20's when they were single, now I am single I am desperate to experience 'life' - like to see the world and be with my family that are growing up (I have quite a few younger brothers and sis') Also I am desperate to change career and make something of myself but this may mean moving away. One of my friends is in long-term relationship but isn't sure about him and another hasn't worked for the last year after travelling for a year and feels content in putting me down in the smallest ways in front of others- like I can't play computer games well enough(?) Is this normal? I always make them feel better but I sometimes don't think they have anything good to say about me or even know me anymore. I said goodbye earlier from a house gathering and no-one even noticed me go. What should I do? I have a few new male friends (platonic) and I love hanging out with them, it's a real laugh and we make fun of each other all the time and it's just fun- not mean put-downs, I look forward to meeting up with them. I realise they will get girlfriends soon though and things will be different. I feel so alone- please help. Advice would be great x  more

Resolved Question: Are some UK Police Constabularies better than others?

in terms of detection, response etc. For example, i live in rural somerset and my local constabulary, from my experience. are excellent. despite living in a highly rural location, our village has its own dedicated police officer who lives in a special police house in the centre. he is joined by a PCSO most days as well. We have a very low crime rate (probably due to a constant police presence) and i thank them for that. In addition, their response is excellent. last year, there was a house robbery and the helicopter was overhead within 5 minutes, and despite our rural location, a car full of armed cops turned up in 15 minutes. This i think was because the guy had a kitchen knife. (it turned out to the owners disgruntled son...). Also, at school times, the parking is horrendous, nearly always on double yellow lines. everyday at 8.30 and 3.30 the local cop is there and he moves them on, without a fine. so they're not all money grabbers. However, we have friends in Cornwall and they seem unsure as to whether police officers still exist. Have i just been rather lucky, or do forces differ so much in their services?  more

Resolved Question: How to get a work permit in Ireland?

Hi there I have some questions. I've been living in Ireland for 5 years as a student (Not in a university only taking small courses about IT Computers), I really love this country and I would like to spend of my life living in Ireland not because of the money but there is something magic and special for me. I'm going to apply for a work permit soon. I Have read all the info on internet about how to get one but I just would like to know if you can give me any tip or something like that which I could have more chances to get one. I work in a company as a graphic designer but my wedges doesnt cover the 30,000 of salary only half, that is one of my disadvantage but i really love my job and my boss wants to help me with that (apart from the salary of course). I'm open to any suggestions. By the way I'm from south America and I cannot apply for a long term residency because I have only student visa. Thanks you in advance.  more

Resolved Question: When you're sick of the whole job application process, what then?

Right, this is a long one. I have a big yellow box full to overflowing with job applications since I left college as a mature student at the age of 41. I loathe being unemployed, hate sitting on my own in the cottage, would much prefer to be out earning money and meeting people and making use of my talents instead of writing writing writing advice on Y!A. After I left college, I was in the thick of court proceedings trying to win contact to see my children, where I was claiming Legal Aid. If I worked, then I would have had to pay it all back, with barristers at £500 per hour, expert witnesses and hours and hours of solicitor's time. So I could not work until the final hearing. By then, there was a gap in my CV and nobody wanted me. Endless applications, interviews, building up hopes and persuading myself and them that there was nobody in the world better than me for their job. Then three weeks on, a letter saying they were very impressed with me and wishing me luck for the future. Over and over and over again. I did voluntary work with Riding for the Disabled. Anything to get out of the house for 3 years. Then at last a temporary job inspecting toilets. Someone else had pulled out, and did I want it? I was there like a flash, and actually loved it. The attendants were such characters. But the boss was a woman who really preferred to work with women, so when the permanent job came up, they gave it to someone else. 6 months. Then a New Deal admin. assistant job. Filing clerk. One day they asked me - do I know anything about databases? They had a whole load of data on village halls and were fed up ploughing through it all every time someone had a query on the phone. Could I do an on-screen query screen. So I grabbed a book on Access from the library and taught myself. It was done by the time my 13 weeks were up. But a permanent job? No, a woman had applied for it, so they had to give it to her. Only 2 months before I landed this job for a bathroom company fobbing off angry fitters who had not been paid, so that their payment could be delayed a few more weeks and help the company cash flow. They had a policy where they expected their staff not to take their annual leave and lose it at the end of the year. "Going the extra mile" it was called. It was the autumn of 2001, and air fares to the USA had never been cheaper, so I asked to take my holiday in November, during a lull in the work. In the end, they said I could go to America, but not come back. Most people were amazed I survived 6 months working for that company! This did lead on quite quickly to a low-paid temping payroll job at a local hospital. Loved it. There were so many different sets of terms and conditions and working patterns to come to grips with, and within these were exceptions and complications, not to mention regradings, promotions, rule changes. It was like being in a football match where the ball stayed still and the pitch, the goalposts and the stand were moving around in all directions. And everything had to be spot on accurate. Came home with major headaches often, but at least everyone got paid! Because I was temping and they had already appointed women for the permanent position, it came to an end, but fortunately another temporary position materialised immediately sorting out inconsistencies in Government records for a Government department, which lasted until Christmas when they sacked all the casuals. I did not want to go on the dole, preferably never again, so a good friend found me a job in his canal boat timeshare company, which I did off and on for two years. At the end of the second year, it was getting ridiculous sending me 100 miles at company expense to paint a boat when they could get someone locally to do it cheaper, so in the end I was laid off. So then, at the start of 2005, having to do these applications over and over again. By then, my CV was in trouble. The boat job did nothing for my credibility in offices, and it was back to where I was when I left college, except that this time I was approaching 50. Each job in 2005 was a disaster. Taking on any temporary job, however dead-end, however useless, however badly-paid just to get my hand back in. The first temping job travelling over 20 miles to find nothing for me to do, and the boss saying by lunchtime I could go home without offering to pay for my petrol. They needed the help, but they were just not organised enough to get their papers in a state that I could be useful as an agency temp. The second was for a Government department where I had three weeks training in diversity and anti-discrimination and anti-bullying. But the manager was a 30-something woman who had a dislike for middle-aged men and put me in the far corner by the photocopier and spent most of her time with two other temporary staff half my age. One day I was told that my contract was terminated with immediate effect. When I queried why, it was suggested I was not picking things up fast enough compared to the others. The third was a school as a payroll officer. They had a payroll of 350, a turnover of 12 per month, two payroll systems (Sage and an awful thing on Word where you had to use the mouse continuously), and were demanding that working part-time 21 hours a week, I produced a fully accurate live monthly pay run in my first week. I told them I needed 5 days the first week to learn the ropes, understand their systems and the payroll, and that I would want them to correct any mistakes I made on Wednesday, so that I could be sure the payroll was corrected and right by Friday. I actually completed the payrun, but they said on the Wednesday there were too many mistakes, and Head Office would not allow me the extra two days to finish the job, so they got rid of me. Back to the job applications, this time completely demoralised, but still having to sell myself somehow as a brilliant prospect. 50th birthday came. All through 2006, just application after application and the usual story - brilliant application, brilliant presentation at interview, very impressed, and we gave the job to a younger woman who was more appropriate and wishing me every luck for the future. By that time, I was sick of the whole rigmarole and operating on a fortnightly cycle of fed-upness. One week I hated employers, hated my country, hated the society that made such horrible people and just wanted to be shot of the whole employment circus. Not the best frame of mind to sell myself on an application form. So I used that week to highlight possible jobs and no more. Second week, absolutely sick of my own company, sitting at home, getting no further with life or career or making myself in the slightest bit marriageable, and there was nothing for it but to fill in these wretched forms. That worked ok until the Jobcentre put me on a weekly sign-on and sent me into a spiral of serious clinical depression when I just had to sign off JSA and onto Incapacity Benefit for a while. Onto 2007 and at last one of my applications gets somewhere. I was far and away the best application for a job as a filing clerk in a Legal Section in a local authority, and they could not offer it to an equally-qualified woman because none applied. They got round this by telling me at interview that it was not the permanent job they advised, but temporary covering someone who was on long-term sick and was unlikely to return. Unless she came back to work, the job was mine for as long as I wanted it. Good enough - I would use the time to work myself into another position within the local authority. Three weeks into the job, I was getting worried because they were not training me in things I needed to do my job, such as inputting data onto their accounting system. I was also made aware by female colleagues that I was not welcome, and really they were expecting their filing clerk to be a young woman college leaver, rather than a middle-aged man. Then a brown paper packet landed on my desk. It was my terms of employment that had been changed to temporary with monthly termination reviews which was not what we had agreed when I was taken on. I asked for an informal chat to discuss my worries with a friend within the organisation. Instead the admin manager took me and my line manager into a room and told me she was going to ask HR to terminate my employment. I complained to senior management. The result was that I was hounded out and on the day before my termination interview with three line managers, all solicitors, I had a mini nervous breakdown and just stopped functioning. I was advised to accept their offer of one month's pay in lieu of notice and leave immediately. Rather than go on the dole and face more of those wretched applications, during my notice period, I accepted a part-time casual job on minimum wage delivering and collecting cars, which I did until the start of August 2008. It was semi-retirement. The driving was too tiring to manage it five days a week, and safety was paramount, but at least it was a way out of the house and meant no job applications or signing on. I earned very little. In the end they sacked me because someone had complained that I was seen eating my sandwiches during the working day that stretched from 7am until late afternoon. The truth I found out later. The woman general manager of the car delivery company did not like men with beards, and nor did the woman general manager of the agency allocating my work, so they decided that while there was a surplus of agency drivers and not enough work, they could get rid of me. Now I am back at 52 with facing more applications, not having done a proper job now since I left the Government department in 2002. My CV is a wreck and there is a downturn in the economy. If I sign on JSA I have to prove I am actively seeking work, and yet now the whole process is making me very very ill. The doctor wants me to go on stronger antidepressants, but I know the problem is not with my mental health, it's with being totally sick of job applications and the whole cruel process of excluding me from work time and time and time again. What next? My last slender hope is with the good friend who got me the boat job, who might have some other part-time work for me when he gets back off holiday. Yes, of course I am suicidal. I cannot afford to retire without a pension, and nor do I particularly want to. So many middle-aged men must be in precisely the same situation as me, and all they are getting from women, who have no trouble securing well-paid or even modestly-paid careers is "get off your bums, you lazy losers". I am probably a lost cause, and I have to come to terms with that. I know I am not wanted here, people have told me that enough times in their "we wish you every luck in the future". Britain and certainly New Labour only loves women. But what hope and advice is there for others in the same boat reading this? Cari - a splendid example of the very women I have to confront when submitting job applications. I am unemployable. Straight in the bin. Someone tell that to the jobcentre and the Daily Express readers when "actively seeking work" and it would save a lot of futile activity. Now her FACT - can we have a reference to support this? Or is it that men only earn more because on average when in work they put in more hours, like tennis players? Thinking very hard about this one for Best Answer, and will put it to the vote I think. OohBetty is probably closest to what I am doing - procrastinating over suicide and taking bum jobs just to get out of the house. AlMcNeilcan suggesting self-employment, which is fine with a good business plan, domestic support and sufficient self-confidence to put in the hours necessary. ColinT, who has been through the same mill, puts his faith in miracles. They happened with him. They might still happen with me. I'm still waiting. And Cari, who represents those I send my forms to, unnervingly precisely. I am unemployable, should accept my destiny and crawl into the gutter and leave her alone.  more

Resolved Question: Acne: Should I go on the contraceptive pill: Pro's and con's

I am 30 and have had a problem with spots all my adult life I have been on antibiotics for over 2 years now and even still when I try to come off them within a few weeks my skin errupts worse than ever. I know it is bad to be on the antibiotics long term but I refuse to be a spotty 30 year old. I was thinking that maybe going on the pill might work although I am reluctent as I worry that going on the pill might make me gain weight as I am already not as slim as I would like. Does the pill really help your skin and does it have other benefits? What's your opinion? Lk G thanks but not helpful at all  more

Resolved Question: How can i handle the aloof, abrupt & stand-offish ways in which people still treat me in my community ?

I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, or are ostracising me for other reasons - how can i deal with it ? How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? these are the things what i know happen : people watch me, sometimes stare. people & authority figures are aloof, distant and abrupt. i get spoken down to, condescended often like i dont know my own mind. i feel alienated, and socially ostracised like people are aware of my background and psychological problems. everywhere i go, places seem to be empty, like people are avoiding me. or if i go someplace and theres people, the people quickly disipate until theres no one left and im alone in the place.......like its because of me. this is what i experience. plus in the past when i had my rage outbursts, i was cautioned a few times by police at the time....so ive been lucky. but this rage which results from repressed anger due to severe bullying - i have managed it well for years now by myself, without any therapy.. so regarding the way everyones treating me....i dont understand whas happening..... how can i cope until one day i can emigrate from the uk ? btw - people are actually treating me like this and i feel im being socially excluded  more

Resolved Question: what do you do when you endure long term loneliness & theres no easy solution to change it ?

ive live all my life in pure misery, suffered catalogue and catalogue of bad events and trauma.....severe bullying and abuse over a long time....physical attacks......head injuries......time in a psychiatric hospital because of a breakdown........and i said thing to psychiatrist that sounded bad to scare them so i would get help.......so they sent me to a psyche hospital......i spent 18 months in there. suffered bad epidodes of rage attacks in public due to pent up anger all the years i was bullied.....id lash out.......lose it in public.....cause myself public embarressment and humiliation......get attacked off strangers.....get laughed at......back then virtuakky everyone in society was ostracising me and rejecting me......i think because of my behaviour.. im 30 years old now.....and live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability......i dont have much....except an old computer......no carpets on floor etc. throughout my life ive always suffered ' extreme ' low self worth i think because of what i went through.......i get to clingy...to attached to obsessive with people.....and coupled with my mood swings its always caused me to be rejected...........im very self absorbed...very inward looking.....get very angry if someone rejects me and take out bad moods on them or feel the urge to slag them off verbally if they reject me.. because of this, ive never built up any relationships at all.......i deeply fear rejection....so im scared to try to talk to people.. i have nothing and no one.....i get deeply lonely at night......i feel very insecure about my future.......i feel i have nothing to offer anyone. i have no qualifications....never studied...missed out on schooling, because of bullying. never been employed.. i have an injured ankle....torn ankle ligaments......waiting to hear about treatment....have to watch how i walk.. have a crooked little finger due to an injury years ago......2 missing teeth at the front because of an accident...bottom row. the only positive thing is that im waiting for psychotherapy, right now. alot of people are still aloof, abrupt, stand offish towards me........like im being socially excluded almost. i feel because of my past that im labelled and theres a stigma that follows me around.....although i cant proove it. i dont no how to deal with people who are aloof, abrupt and condescending and rejecting of me.....accept to feel aggressive towards them....but i control it. i spend each and every day isolated and lonely, i stay in all the time due to ptsd and bad anxiety...also because of intense rage feelings. i was diagnosed with BPD and ptsd before xmas. i have no one except my aging ill mother......who cant do much for me no more....and a good internet friend ive known for 2 years in americas whos been very good to me....i can tell her anything and she always tries to help...and has never judged or rejected me. my only goals in life once im ok, is to leave the united kingdom for good, emigrate with a ok paying job to somewhere quiet and coastal. considering all this information i have provided, how can i survive this period of my life ? im very lonely, socially isolated with no easy solution to it  more

Resolved Question: how do you handle it if you feel your being socially ostracised ?

I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ? How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? these are the things what i know happen : people watch me, sometimes stare. people & authority figures are aloof, distant and abrupt. i get spoken down to, condescended often like i dont know my own mind. i feel alienated, and socially ostracised like people are aware of my background and psychological problems. everywhere i go, places seem to be empty, like people are avoiding me. or if i go someplace and theres people, the people quickly disipate until theres no one left and im alone in the place.......like its because of me. this is what i experience. plus in the past when i had my rage outbursts, i was cautioned a few times by police at the time....so ive been lucky. but this rage which results from repressed anger due to severe bullying - i have managed it well for years now by myself, without any therapy.. so regarding the way everyones treating me....i dont understand whas happening..... how can i cope until one day i can emigrate from the uk ?  more

Resolved Question: is my life beyond repair ? am i completley finished & stigmatised, can i ever achieve my goals still ?

I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ? How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast.  more

Resolved Question: is my life over because of these circumstances ?

my question earlier, i need some opinions and advice on what to do, or, what YOU would do ? here: I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ? How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? also these are the things what i know happen : people watch me, sometimes stare. people & authority figures are aloof, distant and abrupt. i get spoken down to, condescended often like i dont know my own mind. i feel alienated, and socially ostracised like people are aware of my background and psychological problems. everywhere i go, places seem to be empty, like people are avoiding me. or if i go someplace and theres people, the people quickly disipate until theres no one left and im alone in the place.......like its because of me. this is what i experience. plus in the past when i had my rage outbursts, i was cautioned a few times by police at the time....so ive been lucky. this is what im paranoid about : im being under surveilance people have something on me......im known in society as a crazy, someone to avoid. my supermarket security staff have been notified all about me by the police so everytime i go shopping im watched carefully. ......................................... in the supermarket thats when im noticed im watched more by staff....they make feel like im a criminal and im doing something wrong....i try to ignore it what can i do to handle this situation until i can hopefully move on in life ?, its alot of stress and pressure i cant prove it but i feel people have been notified about me......im labelled as someone mad and to avoid.. like theres a stigma on me im not aware of. can someone please help ? ( if i get 1 good answer, it doesnt matter - but i need an indepth opinion on how to survive or get through this )  more

Resolved Question: how do you handle it when you get bad answers to a desperate question you need indepth advice to ?

my question earlier, i need some opinions and advice on what to do, or, what you would do ? here: I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ? How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? also these are the things what i know happen : people watch me, sometimes stare. people & authority figures are aloof, distant and abrupt. i get spoken down to, condescended often like i dont know my own mind. i feel alienated, and socially ostracised like people are aware of my background and psychological problems. everywhere i go, places seem to be empty, like people are avoiding me. or if i go someplace and theres people, the people quickly disipate until theres no one left and im alone in the place.......like its because of me. this is what i experience. plus in the past when i had my rage outbursts, i was cautioned a few times by police at the time....so ive been lucky. ......................................... this is what im paranoid about : im being under surveilance people have something on me......im known in society as a crazy, someone to avoid. my supermarket security staff have been notified all about me by the police so everytime i go shopping im watched carefully. ......................................... in the supermarket thats when im noticed im watched more by staff....they make feel like im a criminal and im doing something wrong....i try to ignore it what can i do to handle this situation until i can hopefully move on in life ?, its alot of stress and pressure i cant prove it but i feel people have been notified about me......im labelled as someone mad and to avoid.. like theres a stigma on me im not aware of. can someone please help ? ( if i get 1 good answer, it doesnt matter - but i need an indepth opinion on how to survive or get through this )  more

Resolved Question: i feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ?

How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ? im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ? also these are the things what i know happen : people watch me, sometimes stare. people & authority figures are aloof, distant and abrupt. i get spoken down to, condescended often like i dont know my own mind. i feel alienated, and socially ostracised like people are aware of my background and psychological problems. everywhere i go, places seem to be empty, like people are avoiding me. or if i go someplace and theres people, the people quickly disipate until theres no one left and im alone in the place.......like its because of me. this is what i experience. plus in the past when i had my rage outbursts, i was cautioned a few times by police at the time....so ive been lucky. ............................................................................................................................................................................ this is what im paranoid about : im being under surveilance people have something on me......im known in society as a crazy, someone to avoid. my supermarket security staff have been notified all about me by the police so everytime i go shopping im watched carefully. ................................................................................................................................................................ in the supermarket thats when im noticed im watched more by staff....they make feel like im a criminal and im doing something wrong....i try to ignore it what can i do to handle this situation until i can hopefully move on in life ?, its alot of stress and pressure i cant prove it but i feel people have been notified about me......im labelled as someone mad and to avoid.. like theres a stigma on me im not aware of. can someone please help ? 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Resolved Question: how would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you ?

im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor. i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often. because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public. sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble. the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation.. this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied.. im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered. i have a minor criminal record. my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast. but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive. i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that. alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me. people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me.. condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore. people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment. this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy. i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me.. i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably. i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this. i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes. ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,, ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS. im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time. i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down. my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc. but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ? could i be stigmatised or ostracised ?  more

Resolved Question: Some British Strange Questions

What did Queen Victoria ban from her funeral? The colour black - instructing mourners to wear white. Even the weather obliged - the ground was covered with snow. How much money is made a day in the Bank of England and Royal Mint? The Bank of England produces £26,731,450 a day in banknotes. The Royal Mint is responsible for producing coins, and issues 4.1 million new coins per day. Where is the centre of England? A survey in 2002 by the Ordnance Survey pinpointed Lindley Hall Farm, near Fenny Drayton, Leics, as being at the centre of England. Historically, Meriden in the West Midlands claimed this title. Why isn't the Rotherhithe tunnel under the Thames in London straight? It was built with bends so that horses would not be able to see the light at the other end and bolt for the exit. ANIMAL WORLDI have been told that banana trees can walk - is this true? They can move up to 15 cm per year. This is because they have no central root, but lateral roots which grow and move towards the sun. What do you call a group of bears? A sleuth of bears. There are packs or routs of wolves and murders or storytellings of crows. Why does a swarm of midges not get knocked to the ground when it's raining? A falling raindrop creates a tiny pressure wave ahead of it as it falls. This wave pushes the midge sideways and the drop misses it. Scroll down for more... The difference between lettuce and humans is less than you might think If bees died out, what would be the result? All life on Earth would die within an estimated four years. Most food crops rely on bees to pollinate them, so if bees die out, so do humans. SHOWBIZWho was the original Pretty Woman? Roy Orbison's wife, Claudette. Asked once if she needed cash to go out, a friend said: "A pretty woman never needs any money." What name did Daryl Walters write under? Enid Blyton - best known for the Famous Five and Secret Seven series. She died in 1968 at the age of 71. Is it true that Paul McCartney stopped it raining at a concert? Yes. He hired three jets, at a cost of £28,000, to spray dry ice in the clouds above a concert at St Petersburg's Palace Square, thus preventing rain. What was unusual about the rain in the 1952 film Singing In The Rain? The rain was water mixed with milk. The crew did this so the raindrops and puddles would show up on film. What does "tardis" in Dr Who mean? The model of TARDIS is an obsolete Type 40 TT capsule. TARDIS stands for "Time And Relative Dimensions In Space". FOOD How many varieties does Heinz have? Henry Heinz adopted the slogan '57 Varieties' because he liked the numbers 5 and 7. Including divisions and subsidiaries, they actually have around 1,300. What is the name of the bumps on a raspberry? Druplets. The raspberry is not a berry but an aggregate fruit of numerous drupelets around a central core. HUMAN WORLDYou will produce 121 pints of this in your life - what is it? Tears. The average person will also eat 10,000 chocolate bars and have 7,163 baths. Is it true that women have twice as many pain receptors on their bodies than men? Yes. Women have (on average) 34 nerve fibres per square cm of facial skin compared with just 17 for men. Are there any countries in the world that don't have McDonald's fast-food restaurants? There are none in Greenland, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, most of the Middle East, Guyana, Papua New Guinea, Burma, Vietnam and most of Africa. After Neil Armstrong said "that's one small step for Man, one giant leap for mankind", what were his next words? He continued: "Yes, the surface is fine and powdery. I can kick it up loosely with my toe." Who made the first mobile phone call in Britain? Comedian Ernie Wise was chosen to make the call by mobile phone operator Vodafone on January 1, 1985. From the middle of London's St Katharine's Dock, he phoned Vodafone's headquarters at Newbury, Berks. Which are the top four biggest employers in the world in terms of staff? Walmart (2.4 million people), the Chinese Army (2.3 million), the Indian State Railways (1.5 million) and the NHS (1.4 million). Who was born in 1959 and couldn't bend her legs for the first six years of her life, has a brother called Todd and two sisters? Barbie, the famous doll, was "born" in 1959, couldn't bend her legs until 1965, has a brother called Todd, and no, she has five sisters. How much money will the average person in the UK spend in their lifetime? Men will spend £1,717,118 and women just £1,363,729. Of that, £286,311 goes to the taxman. What caused 73 accidents in Britain in 2002? Toothpaste tubes. Surprisingly, 823 accidents are caused by letters and envelopes. How many miles does the average woman walk in her lifetime while vacuumcleaning? 7,300 miles. Men only walk an average of 850 miles. SPORTWhat do John Lennon and Gary Lineker have in common? Both were given the middle name Winston - after Churchill. Lineker also shares a birthday with Churchill on November 30. WORDSWhat is the weirdest pub name? Poosie Nansie's in Ayrshire, but there are many: Sally Up Steps in Bolton; Donkey On Fire in Ramsgate; Oxnoble in Manchester; Who'd A Thowt It in Berkshire; Tafarn Sinc in Carmarthenshire, and the shortest - Q in Stalybridge. In rhyming slang, a Douglas Hurd is a third-class degree at university, and a Desmond Tutu is a 2:2, but what is a 2:1 in slang? In degree rhyming slang a 2:1 is known as Attila (the Hun) or Don (Juan). A 1st is Geoff (Hurst) or Damien (Hirst), while a 3rd is also known as a Thora (Hird). Why do people say "cobblers" when they believe something isn't true? The expression "cobblers", meaning nonsense or rubbish, derives from "cobbler's awls", Cockney rhyming slang for "balls". Why is New York the Big Apple? The name first appeared in the 1920s as horses were rewarded with apples on its many race tracks. A 1971 official tourism campaign first used the expression. Where does the term "purple patch" originate? The phrase, describing a period of success and good form, derives from Roman times, when only noblemen could afford purple dyes and cloth. WORLD TRIVIAWhere is Europe's largest roundabout? The Arc de Triomphe in Paris - which is the meeting point of 12 avenues. No vehicle insurance policy is valid on it. How long would it take to walk to China and back? The distance London-Beijing is 5,070 miles, so it's a 10,140-mile round trip. Walking speed 4mph; 2,535 hours' walking time; eight hours' walking per day: 316.8 days. What is the most expensive liquid in the world? Scorpion venom - used in medical research and which costs £1,038 for a 0.2ml sample (that's £5,302,725 per litre). AND FINALLYGive me three statistics that will wow my friends. • 76 people die each year playing Twister. • Linda McCartney sold more veggie meals than husband Paul sold records. • Humans share a third of their DNA with lettuce  more

Resolved Question: what can i do if : i feel ive messed my life up - and : im stuck in circumstances i dont want to be in ?

tonight, the emptiness, loneliness, insecurity, sense of feeling stuck is so great i wish a bullet would find me and penetrate deep into my abdomen to free me from this painful, wretched existance that i have endured most of my life.. i live in an antisocial neighborhood, with no hopers, anti social hooligan youth yobos.. criminals, alchoholics etc. theres a lot of confrontational, glaring, staring, intimidating anti social youths round here who gather and hang around in gangs.....i find their behaviour very threatening, provocating & antagonising.......they shout......blast hiphop music.....shout obscenities in street....cause fights....act rowdy etc. just to say iam on disability, have no savings....live in a council area & im not in the position to simply move right now......but my long term plan is to move right away permenantly from the uk. ive had a wretched miserable life so far, suffered trauma, being victimised - excessive bullying all the way throughout my life so far, had a family whos let me down, accuse me for all the problems in my life.....and not validate any problem ive had except my mother whos tried to be there for me.. im now 30....ive missed out on everything literally, relationships with anyone - being employed - no qualification - time in a psyche facility because i had a breakdown....time in jail for minor offences over 8 years ago. i have BPD & ptsd, live on disability in a small apartment in england, i dont own much- i have made progress , & have been refered for psychotherapy by the mental health services.. i feel lonely, abandoned by everyone & left behind in life at many disadvantages.. because of bpd, i get bad depressions, my moods constantly swing, i feel deeply insecure....abandoned in life.....have bad anxiety ( ptsd ) that stops me going out except when i need to........i have no one except 1 or 2 internet friends. i feel permenantly trapped in this circumstance or worry it will take to long to be able to leave or emigrate.. it seems impossible right now that i could ever get out of these circumstances at this late stage.. how can i deal with this circumstance ? i dont have anyone except an internet friend for 2 years an an aging mother who cant do much to be there for me anymore and has very much left me to my own devices... this makes me feel very insecure.. and like i said : my big goal & ambition still is to attain a well paying computer job, then to leave the country ( THE UK ) to live in a hot ccountry near the sea. but in my situation, at my disadvantages, that goal and dream seems out of reach and unattainable right now.. and i feel stuck here.....enchained here forever almost.. 21 hours ago and its scaring and making me feel insecure. darkness is falling....i live alone.....all i have to hang onto is my dreams and goals of moving away....a loving wife...and a good job. im all alone in a lonely apartment. no one seems to be interested or help me with my long term ambitions but instead always change the subject.....become mute and not offer anything or any advice....no encouragement etc. or they always for some weird reason challenge my ambitions instead of trying to help me, saying ' you cant run away from things ' or other reasons or arguments trying to convey to me that its hopeless to even have these ambitions of mine of wanting to leave etc. this makes me feel more trapped here, like theres some big conspiracy to keep me here in britain in a one bedroom lonely apartment........because whenever i talk about my life, my hopes......people around me behave all weird or discouraging, reinforcing the feelings iam ' enchained here ' until i die. its like im living in some real life movie plot like the wicker man, where everybody behaves weird towards me....wants to trap me here.......and undermine everything i do. and to be honest, i hate that - can someone tell me how to cope with this situation and having these long term ambitions that ' no one ' seems to care about ? i feel like its a conspiracy an im being kept prisoner and slave in these circumstances i dont wanna be in.  more

Resolved Question: what to do when, theres no one there for you in life anymore - you feel abandoned & your goals are far off ?

i live in an antisocial neighborhood, with no hopers, anti social hooligan youth yobos.. criminals, alchoholics etc. theres a lot of confrontational, glaring, staring, intimidating anti social youths round here who gather and hang around in gangs.....i find their behaviour very threatening, provocating & antagonising. plus heres my situation in general : just to say iam on disability, have no savings....live in a council area & im not in the position to simply move right now......but my long term plan is to move right away permenantly from the uk. ive had a wretched miserable life so far, suffered trauma, being victimised - excessive bullying all the way throughout my life so far, had a family whos let me down, accuse me for all the problems in my life.....and not validate any problem ive had except my mother whos tried to be there for me.. im now 30....ive missed out on everything literally, relationships with anyone - being employed - no qualification - time in a psyche facility because i had a breakdown....time in jail for minor offences over 8 years ago. i have BPD & ptsd, live on disability in a small apartment in england, i dont own much- i have made progress , & have been refered for psychotherapy by the mental health services.. i feel lonely, abandoned by everyone & left behind in life at many disadvantages.. because of bpd, i get bad depressions, my moods constantly swing, i feel deeply insecure....abandoned in life.....have bad anxiety ( ptsd ) that stops me going out except when i need to........i have no one except 1 or 2 internet friends. i get clingy, suffer with low self esteem, get dependant on people to soon, so i find dificult to make friendships or keep them and often get rejected......plus im scared of rejection. my big goal & ambition still is to attain a well paying computer job, then to leave the country to live in a hot ccountry near the sea. i feel permenantly trapped in this circumstance or worry it will take to long to be able to leave or emigrate.. it seems impossible right now that i could ever get out of these circumstances at this late stage.. how can i deal with this circumstance ? i dont have anyone except an internet friend for 2 years an an aging mother who cant do much to be there for me anymore and has very much left me to my own devices... this makes me feel very insecure.. and like i said : my big goal & ambition still is to attain a well paying computer job, then to leave the country ( THE UK ) to live in a hot ccountry near the sea. but in my situation, at my disadvantages, that goal and dream seems out of reach and unattainable right now.. and i feel stuck here.....enchained here forever almost.. and its scaring and making me feel insecure. darkness is falling....i live alone.....all i have to hang onto is my dreams and goals of moving away....a loving wife...and a good job. im all alone in a lonely apartment. i hope you respect this question enough to answer seriously.  more

Resolved Question: physical burdens as well as long term mental burdens - how do i manage ?

ive had a wretched miserable life so far, suffered trauma, being victimised - excessive bullying all the way throughout my life so far, had a family whos let me down, accuse me for all the problems in my life.....and not validate any problem ive had except my mother whos tried to be there for me.. im now 30....ive missed out on everything literally, relationships with anyone - being employed - no qualification - time in a psyche facility because i had a breakdown....time in jail for minor offences over 8 years ago. i have BPD & ptsd, live on disability in a small apartment in england, i dont own much- i have made progress , & have been refered for psychotherapy by the mental health services.. i feel lonely, abandoned by everyone & left behind in life at many disadvantages.. ontop of this i have physical worries : torn ligaments in my left ankle, waiting 4 an mri scan. cracked skin covering the head of my penis - dermatologist has sent pictures away of it, im waiting to hear- she said she didnt think it was a skin disorder and that nothing can be done to clear the cracked skin.. i have 2 missing teeth , front bottom row due to an accident years ago, im trying to save up for implants. i have a crooked little finger, that droops over slightly, due to an injury years ago, it wont straiten. damaged nerves in my right knuckle, because i punched a wall years ago, now i get mild shooting pains if i hit something lightly.......i was told damaged nerves cant really be repaired.. im having urology tests done at the moment because of have frequent urination problems. because of bpd, i get bad depressions, my moods constantly swing, i feel deeply insecure....abandoned in life.....have bad anxiety ( ptsd ) that stops me going out except when i need to........i have no one except 1 or 2 internet friends. i get clingy, suffer with low self esteem, get dependant on people to soon, so i find dificult to make friendships or keep them and often get rejected......plus im scared of rejection. my big goal & ambition still is to attain a well paying computer job, then to leave the country to live in a hot ccountry near the sea. how can i deal with this circumstance ?  more

Resolved Question: How to Solve the Mortgage Problem.?

The traditional 25 year mortgage term has been in existance since the late 50's early 60's. As people are living longer and having far better working life spans, as health is concerned, why not offer 30-35 year Mortgages?. It just seems the simplest way around this whole problem. I agree that more interest would be made payable, but surely this is a fact of today's modern life. Your comments would be appreciated, particulary from 1st time buyers.  more

Resolved Question: What do you think of Bill Gates "11 Tips for Success You Will Never Learn in School"?

1: Life is not fair - get used to it! 2: The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 3: You will NOT make £30,000 a year right out of high school. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: opportunity. 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes - learn from them. 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills and listening to you talk about how cool you are. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. 9: Life is not divided into terms. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you "find yourself". Do that in your own time. 10: TV is not real life. In In real life, people have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one! piranha - did you even read them? No? Geuss you're the expert ;o(  more

Resolved Question: How did there come to be so many inconsistentsies in the pro-life movement?

In 1984 there were 18 reported cases of threats, harassment and/or violence reported against reproductive clinics. Twenty years later, that number rose to 1/3 of ALL clinics in the US. Pro-life? Planned Parenthood has had to set up a 30-foot buffer zone to keep the kooks out. Suggesstions to stop using terms that makes the pro-life movement look bad, such as "babykiller" are often ignored. Websites that hunt doctors that perform it have appeared numerous times. Most people in the pro-life movement do not condone violence, but it is there, and it is usually handled by solutions from pro-CHOICE groups. It is a fragmented group to say the least. Somone is wrong. Why isnt more done by this movement to prevent abortion in the first place? Where are the droves of conservative child adopters? And why does this group think that prohibition and removing safety is going to make this issue go away? Some will suggest pro-life talk inspires violence.Who will stop that? An effective cervical cancer vaccine was rounded rejected by most of this movemnet on the unsubstantiated grouds it would "encourage pre-matial sex". Many of these also support an abstinence-only approach to sex ed thaty tells teenagers to NOT use condoms, as did the now defunct Silver Ring Thing(it had a 22% success rate). mzJakes: You are not answering the question. Thuis is not an oppurtunity to go into the largely untrue "liberal=murder" rant. alan h: You're not answering the question. The are pro-birth, not really fully pro-"life". mzjakes:but then again, as you cannot argue for you position on any merits, as there are none, you must resort to obfuscation and distraction... pot/kettle/black. YOU are condoning such violence.Zealot.  more

Voting Question: have a fear of looking at my myspace incase i see people have taken me off their friends list, what to do ?

i have a fear of logging into my myspace account incase i see my friends list has been dramatically reduced...incase people have taken me off their friends list and my friends have gone from say 50 to 13........this terrifies me. how do i get over this ? also to say ive suffered a hard life, have borderline personality and ptsd, im waiting for therapy and iam now 30. ive missed out alot in my life, never experienced things like forming any relationships ever...being employed or getting qualifications...i also have a criminal record going back 8 years ago.....ive also had long term mental health record. i have alot to get over in life. but what im asking here is ive always sufered extreme low self worth....always act clingy, unassured of myself...wear my insecurities on my sleeve....try to hard....expect to much from people....act desperate.. feel unworthy of others etc.. this is due to me being bullied all my life, reason for such low self esteem....the way i be has always caused me to get rejected & to never have any relationships. im terrified of rejection and to reach out to anyone incase i get rejected or i start to like them....then they end up letting me down & rejecting me. i feel that loneliness & my situation in life makes me act desperate.. i dont at this stage even have the social skills to know how to act differentley.. when it comes to relationships ive always felt hopeless and worthless like i have nothing to offer anyone except a vulnerable heart. lots of people have reached out to me through this site and a few on myspace, but im scared to get back to them, im scared ill start to like them then theyll......reject me. that theyll learn about my ways and let me down, that they will be frightened off by the clingyness , severe low self worth etc.. i have lots of unanswered messages and emails because im scared to reply to people and trust them then........they reject me. the intense fear of liking someone or starting to like them then they reject me...its happened many times in the past. im not physically perfect, ive aged in my face prematurly because of all the life stress, i have a shaved head because of balding......im trying to lose weight....have an injured ankle, need physio waiting for a scan on it...torn the tendon etc. please someone want mentality do i need to adopt to conquer this fear ?  more

Resolved Question: how do i get past this fear ?

ive suffered a hard life, have borderline personality and ptsd, im waiting for therapy and iam now 30. ive missed out alot in my life, never experienced things like forming any relationships ever...being employed or getting qualifications...i also have a criminal record going back 8 years ago.....ive also had long term mental health record. i have alot to get over in life. but what im asking here is ive always sufered extreme low self worth....always act clingy, unassured of myself...wear my insecurities on my sleeve....try to hard....expect to much from people....act desperate.. feel unworthy of others etc.. this is due to me being bullied all my life, reason for such low self esteem....the way i be has always caused me to get rejected & to never have any relationships. im terrified of rejection and to reach out to anyone incase i get rejected or i start to like them....then they end up letting me down & rejecting me. i feel that loneliness & my situation in life makes me act desperate.. i dont at this stage even have the social skills to know how to act differentley.. when it comes to relationships ive always felt hopeless and worthless like i have nothing to offer anyone except a vulnerable heart. lots of people have reached out to me through this site and a few on myspace, but im scared to get back to them, im scared ill start to like them then theyll......reject me. that theyll learn about my ways and let me down, that they will be frightened off by the clingyness , severe low self worth etc.. get this, i even have a fear of logging into my myspace account incase i see my friends list has been dramatically reduced...incase people have taken me off their friends list and my friends have gone from say 50 to 13........this terrifies me. i have lots of unanswered messages and emails because im scared to reply to people and trust them then........they reject me. the intense fear of liking someone or starting to like them then they reject me...its happened many times in the past. im not physically perfect, ive aged in my face prematurly because of all the life stress, i have a shaved head because of balding......im trying to lose weight....have an injured ankle, need physio waiting for a scan on it...torn the tendon etc. please someone want mentality do i need to adopt to conquer this fear ?  more

Resolved Question: How do you get out of a rut in life?

Am sure there are others who feel the same. I am not doing badly in life, I have my own lovely house, I have a job that is pleasant and pays ok but is going nowhere, I have a nice car and money, but I have so little in my life in terms of people and excitement and I just don't see where I am heading. I used to have loads of friends but over the years (I'm now 30) friends have moved on or settled down and you just gradually drift away from people. I have friends at work but they are all married and have their own lifes. I just feel I have gone stale and am achieving and doing nothing with my life and it worries me, because I would love to have a really happy fulfilling life. I don't really know how to change it. I mean I could change job but I earn decent money for the sort of work I do and job is not really the problem. I do have lots of interests like playing golf, going to sports events, concerts, but all by myself. Can anyone relate to this? Anyone turned their life around? Oh, um, please don't anyone say 'Do some voluntary work' - I work all week as it is!  more

Resolved Question: Is 30 years too old to form a rock band?

I've lived life, worked and had a kid, now that the pressure has eased in terms of time, I'd like to follow my own dreams, and would like to form a rock band for pleasure, but also wonder if we're any good there's still a chance for success (getting signed etc) - In my opinion I'm a good musician and songwriter but I'm sure lots say that!. Is 30 too old? Sounds a mad question, but responses appreciated!  more

Resolved Question: would it be impossible in my situation to emigrate to canada or australia does anyone know ?

im 30 now, suffered a hard tragic life, i have borderline personality disorder and ptsd.....waiting for psychotherapy and trying to work closley with the mental health services. i live in a one bedroom flat on sick pay, ive missed out in life on everything....never worked...never had any qualifications.....had long term mental health issues to contend with. in the past 8 years ago i ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because i said things to worry psychiatrists so i would get help for my issues because i wasnt getting any help in the community. i regret all these mistakes and are looking to get over it and salvage some goals and ambitions for myself. my ultimate goal which i tell everyone is to leave england, emigrate to start afresh, attain a good computer job. i know i can go anywhere in the europe obviously. but i would also if i could like to go further out like canada or australia, im at disadvantages & face hard challenges. can i do this is this possible ? i know i certainly want to leave england.. if i couldnt get in those places where else further out could i get into other than the EU ?  more

Resolved Question: Does anyone else think we're outdoing ourselves in terms of technology?

I just read an article about someone predicting that in 30 years time kids will learn by download information wirelessly and directly into their brains. Now, this of course renders traditional sit-down-and-learning obsolete. I'm interested to know what your views on this - do you think you really can replace the personality and life of a teacher? Is this really a better alternative to learning? Also, do you think that humankind is becoming ahead of themselves in that soon we will advance technology so far that there will be no need to move or interact physically in any way? I personally think that we need to learn to STOP. Opinions?  more

Resolved Question: Should I tell younger woman how I feel about her?

I am a man in my mid 40's and I have been fairly sure for years that it isn't possible for me to be in a long term relationship with a woman. I guess I am fairly unconventional and have never really found a woman who could accept me as I am. However I recently me a rather eccentric younger woman who is 30. She is just amazing, so intelligent, funny, creative, open, sexy, warm and a very original thinker. We met through friends when she moved to london and we have become close. I feel like she is the girl I have been waiting for my whole life and I am dying to tell her how I feel but something holds me back. I feel regret that I can't be nearer her age or less messed up because then I could have a chance to be with her , perhaps it is best to not say how I feel and just enjoy her friendship? I have truely never felt like this before we just click on such a fundamental level that at times I'm sure she must feel it too but perhaps is it just wishful thinking from a lonely old man?  more

Resolved Question: An open letter to Richard Branson, Avonline, and Virgin Media (Leaked Memo)?

 more

Resolved Question: Swallow my pride?

Ok I have never asked my family for anything but now I find myself with zero money, we sold our home to defend our young child in court my partner is ill with skeleton and muscle problems the social incapacity will not help us following underscoring from their own doctor, we are in no uncertain terms pennyless and may now thanks to the incapacity loose the home we rent. My little cousin has a business with his partner worth a clear £60million, should I swallow my pride and ask him for a laon of 30-40k so I can open a chipshop abroad or just keep rucking through life as I have been? bear in mind I havent seen him in about 8 years. Please help me understand is asking a sign of weekness or a sign of courage or even something diferrent? You guys are truly helping me make up my mind thank you all. Monkey illness is a horrible thing and we have worked always and cared for 150 elderly people who had cold water baths etc that we fought to overcome for them ......  more

Resolved Question: Too big an age gap?

I am a 30 year old woman and have recently met a man of 46. We have fallen for each other in a big way. Being together is wonderful but he says he feels guilty about me being stuck with an old man. He is a great guy. Funny, warm, very smart and a totally unique thinker but he does have quite poor health and he doesn't seem to think he'll be around in 10 years. He says he loves me very much and that he could never have dreamed of finding someone like me but that I should build a life with someone I have a long term future with. Logically I guess he is right but this is TRUE love! I'd rather have a single day with him than an eternity with any other guy. I know he feels the same but he thinks he's doing the right thing by trying to put me off. He knows my family are not happy about it either. What do you think? Although my boyfriend is only 7 years younger than my Father I don't think I have a daddy complex at all. I already have a wonderful father and am not looking for any kind of replacment. I do understand the reaction though I might have thought the same thing if I had not found myself in this situation. Thank you all for your wonderful advice. I have decided to go with my heart!  more

Resolved Question: Killer nurse gets life jail term?

To serve a minimum of 30 years. He'll be 62 when he applies for parole, an oldie like the people he's killed. http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30100-1307885,00.html This is another one that I hope enjoys his welcome party... What do you think - is this a fitting sentence for the lives he's taken?  more

Resolved Question: Which one of these can yo connect confidentiality to and why?

Sanjit is 35 years of age. He moved from India to England 5 years ago with his family. He is now a supervisor in a large retail shop. He has diabetes and has regular check ups with his GP. The practice nurse sees Sanjit every two months to give him advice on his diet. Sanjit and his family live in a village in the north of England. They do not have any transport of their own. Tegla is married to Sanjit. She is 30 years of age. She has one child. Tegla works as a physiotherapst at the local hospital for 3 days each week. The hospital is 10 miles from their home. Sunhil is 4. He is the son of Sanjit and Tegla. Tegla has arranged for Sunhil to attend the local playgroup for 3 mornings each week. Majella is 70. She is Tegla’s mother and she lives with the family. Majella has very little short-term memory and needs looking after. She attends the local day care center 3 times each week. If her conditions worsen Majella may have to consider moving to a residential home.  more

Resolved Question: how do i get over this depressing news ?

im 30 i have BPD and PTSD, i have lived alone for 2 years now in a small one bedroom flat. i have been through so much in life and missed out in the process, ive never been employed...never studied or have any qualifications....never built up any relationships with male or female. even though ive missed out and had a very difficult life so far i have goals and aspirations still. they are to leave the uk, move back to europe or outside the EU, and find a new life for myself, start a new, achieve things ive never had i;e- a job - a home, a wife...finacial security...live in a nice place etc. those are my long term aims. but for the meantime i wanted to relocate to another part of the uk, because iam lonely & cut off here...theres antisocial behaviour my groups of youths....and i want to leave old reminders & stigma that i feel is against me because of aggressive and anger problems in the past. just before my social worker and cpn just visited, they were supposed to be helping me relocate....they said theyd have to transfer services over, get mental health services in the new area, they said they would also help with housing. but they came just before and said theyd not really done anything yet....that its me who has to sort out supported housing, and get application forms, then they would be happy to fil them in. but they made out theres no quick fix solution, they cant just sort it all out for me, or organize everything and that if i want to move, i have to be proactive about it. i have to look into what housing their is, like its all left up to me and they will do 5% of help like fill in application forms etc.. i feel really depressed as i thought they would help and help organize the relocation etc.. plus i need therapy badly and ive accepted this but because i wanted to move to a new area , a fresh start, the psychiatrist said theres no point in starting therapy until i move, so to get everything transfered over.. so now i feel left in limbo...what should i do now ?  more

Resolved Question: Ladies would you do this? Your comments please?

Woman jailed for testicle attack A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison. Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard. She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours." Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years. 'Pulled hard' Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence. The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year. The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house. An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them. In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard". I am in no way a violent person Amanda Monti He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain." The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it. She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ. In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done. She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person." The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life."  more

Resolved Question: What do i do with my life right now at this stage ?

im 30, have borderline personality disorder, ive lived alone for 2 years in a one bedroom flat on sickness pay.....because of my problems and condition ive never : made any friends in life : never had a partner or girlfriend ever : never been employed or gained qualifications ever..l..i have a mental health record to obviously & a minor criminal one. my long term goal is to move to a quiet coastal village in europe or maybe back to southern france...where i could get an ok job and a nice girlfriend, a loving partner. right now, i don't live in the greatest/ friendliest area of the uk.....ive lived alone for 2 years and im starting to feel lonely, alienated, abandoned, isolated by society....and obviously with no support network to turn to, except an aging ill mum...i have no one there for me. im not keen on multiculturalism either & im seeing more of this in my area. im thinking should i try run away and escape to a quiter area in a setup where i was living around others so i wouldnt feel lonely or abandoned....but i dont know in what area that place would be...or who i should approach or how to get there. obviously you need to have money to live in a nice area and i dont have any because of my situation. i know there are mental health charities that assist with supported housing all over the country. but after 2 years in my own flat, moving would be a big upeval like walking into the unknown... how would i get what little possessions i own to an area far away etc... do i stay here, tough it out, work towards getting to europe? or do i bolt because i feel the way i do ? what do i do in the short term, anyone ? * some type of shared housing where im living around others in a quiet caucasian area...is what i have in mind. but how to get there...im at a loss...  more

30 Year Term Life News

30 year term life

In the short term, bankrupt automakers would have to continue paying health-care benefits for their retirees. The companies could ask the court for permission to drop payments, but automakers would have to try to negotiate changes with the United ...

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If GM, Chrysler went bankrupt, they would have to keep paying retirees ... - Cleveland Plain Dealer

Prosecutors plan to recommend this morning that the men convicted of plotting an armed attack on Fort Dix spend the rest of their lives in prison, possibly in the federal government's toughest facility. Defense attorneys say they will argue that life ...

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Prosecutors to seek life terms in Ft. Dix plot - Philiy.com

The Storage Inn, Egg Harbor Township, NJ welcomes the community to join in their 30 year anniversary celebration of providing Self-Service Storage to Atlantic County. From May 14th to May 17th, hot dogs and hamburgers will be served free from 11 a.m ...

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Pioneer Celebrates 30 Years in Storage Business - PR.com

Note: Throughout this announcement prior year amounts have been restated to conform with the requirements of FASB Staff Position No. APB 14-1 "Accounting for Convertible Debt Instruments that May be Settled in Cash Upon Conversion (Including Partial ...

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Anixter International Inc. Reports First Quarter Net Income of $0.72 ... - MSN MoneyCentral

DETROIT (AP) — General Motors Corp. could be majority owned by the federal government under a massive restructuring plan laid out Monday that will cut 21,000 U.S. factory jobs by next year and phase out the storied Pontiac brand. The plan, which ...

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GM announces job cuts - WISC News

London, Apr 28 (ANI): The growing appetite of British women has made them to eat away 92 years' worth of fat by the age of 50, finds a new research. However, men of the same age have a fat age of 71. The study showed that those aged 40, the average ...

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Brit women have 'fat age' of 92 at 50 - Newstrack India

PRAGUE - U.S. and European investigators will move more quickly to catch and prosecute international terrorists, drug dealers and child pornographers under new agreements to be sealed Tuesday. U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is meeting with the ...

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Holder hails progress on extradition treaty - Napa Valley Register

Berbatov has come in for criticism in recent weeks for his lethargic penalty miss in the FA Cup semi-final shootout defeat against Everton. The 28-year-old has not been every fans cup of tea at Old Trafford this season especially as he is keeping ...

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Fergie backs 'fantastic' Berbatov - TEAMtalk

CLEVELAND - The Dodgers have designated an area at Dodger Stadium "Mannywood" in honor of Manny Ramírez. They are selling seats in the left-field corner for $99 a pair, and they come with "Mannywood" T-shirts. Ramírez, of course, wears No. 99. The ...

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Bay continues to carve out his own niche - Boston Globe

Courtesy of Kristen Kelly Filmmakers Anne de Mare, left, and Kirsten Kelly spent nearly five years making their documentary "Asparagus: Stalking the American Life." Kelly grew up on an asparagus farm in Shelby, Mich. Quick: What's Peru's biggest ...

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AccuQuote, a Leading Provider of Term Life Insurance Quotes, Provides Tips for Shopping for Return of Premium Term Life Insurance

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AccuQuote, an Established Leader in Providing Life Insurance Quotes, Reports Record Growth in Term Life Insurance Sales in 2007

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ING Lowers Term Life Insurance Rates, Again

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ING Lowers Term Life Insurance Rates, Again

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Compulife Introduces a Graphic 'History of Term Life Insurance Premiums'

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Compulife Issues Challenge to Life Insurance Industry

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Elder Law and Long Term Care -- A Free Seminar for Seniors

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Get a 100% Tax-Free Refund of Your Life Insurance Premiums

Fresno, CA (PRWEB) November 3, 2004 -- Believe it or not there is a way to get 100% of your life insurance premiums refunded to you all Tax-Free. Free life insurance? Sort of. The product is called... more

Term4Sale Improves Term Insurance Comparisons for Consumers

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Explanation of Term Life Insurance

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Life is like a boomerang - Q&A

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Project 365: First Day of My Life 58/365 year #2

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Why Should You Buy Term Life Insurance?

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Do You Need Term Life Insurance? | Personal Finance Guide

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Auto macho? - motoring - life-style | Stuff.co.nz

Introduced in 1976 and 1979, respectively, each model lived for three years before being pulled from the company's lineup. Whether anything will be different 30 years later remains to be seen. Seidel declined to say how many DN-01s were ... more

Guaranteed Universal Life - What is it?

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